Success!

It is with great elation that I announce the defeat of long time foe and unwanted house guest, Rambo Mouse. As it turns out the years have not been kind to him and his reflexes along with his cunning have faded over time. The fight lasted a mere 15 minutes and then, just like that my life’s quest was completed.

I was doing some vacuuming in my parents room when suddenly I looked over and what do my amazed eyes see, but Rambo Mouse staring me down. The undeniable look in his eye, where he was sizing me up, and the uncertainty if he remembered me from years past. But no matter, I knew what must be done, I slammed the door shut, cornering him in my parents room. I then looked around for anything to trap or bludgeon him with. My eyes rested on a small trashcan in the corner. He saw it as well. Suddenly we were in a stare off, who would make the first move? Would I be able to reach the trashcan a mere 5 feet away before I was attacked, or would the legendary foe anticipate my move and fly at me teeth flashing and claws thrashing? The air was thick with anticipation, almost so much that it could be cut with a knife. My heart raced as I sized up my opponent. Then without a moments hesitation I lunged for the trash can, quickly emptying it’s contents onto my parent’s floor (what did I care, this is Rambo Mouse we’re talking about here!) The sudden movement must have taken him by surprise because he leaped, not at me but up the stairs into the open room. I gave chase.

I ran him against the corner of the room, sure that I had him. But the wily beast evaded me once again. With a quick fake to the left he scurried right and I was taken momentarily off guard. He then was able to seek refuge in between the mattress and the back of my parent’s headboard. I jumped up on the bed hoping to confuse him and make him panic and come right out at me. Bucket posed and ready I started to jump up and down. Still nothing. He may have aged but his nerves were still as strong as steal.

I then spotted a flashlight, which I could use to gain the advantage and illuminate my foe. I quickly ran over and grabbed the plug in flashlight from the wall socket. Damnit! It didn’t work. I abandoned that thought and tried to see in the hiding place with just the light I had. I couldn’t see anything, until suddenly I saw him. A small shadow peering around the corner sizing up the situation at hand. I quickly pushed the mattress and jumped on the bed just in time to see him scurry out and back into my parents walk in closet. His had fallen right into my trap.

Now he was hopelessly cornered. Still however, he used his prowess to evade me for a few minutes longer. Trash can ready I saw an opportunity and attacked! Damn, just missed him. Wow he’s a quick little bastard. Just then the bedroom door opened and my father stepped in. “Need some help?” Of course I needed the help, but I wanted Rambo mouse so badly that I almost refused. But I accepted and now the two of us were on the hunt. My father saw him in the corner underneath some shelves. “Wait right here I’m going to flush him out and then you bag him!” With adrenaline pumping I gladly accepted my sentry orders and stood at ready. My father searched around for something to chase him out with, and came up with a machete. Yes a machete. Don’t ask me why my father has a machete in his closet, but he does. I thought, YES! This is it, take a swing at him and cut him in two!! But my father had other ideas, he wanted our foe alive, and not a stain on the carpet.

He flushed him out and I thrust the bucket down to try and catch him… MISS!!! NO! This can’t be happening, He mustn’t get away! I quickly regrouped and with speed I didn’t know I had made another downward thrust with the bucket. This time I was right on mark and caught the entire beast and pinned his hind leg and tail to the carpet outside of the bucket. VICTORY! I slide the bucket completely over him and kept even pressure on the bucket. My long fought battle had finally come to an end. Rambo Mouse was my prisoner.

A wave of pride and relief swept over me as I realized my accomplishment. I had restored honor to the Triolo family name once again. No longer would we need to live under the veil of defeat by this rodent. No longer would Rambo mouse haunt my dreams. The quest was over. A sudden sadness crept into my mind however. It was finally over, so why am I feeling sad? He was a formidable foe, had I just gotten lucky in capturing him? Or had his age finally slowed him down enough for me to get the upper hand? I suppose in the end it doesn’t matter why I was able to capture Rambo Mouse, but I did.

My father and I walked the bucket carrying the most daring, wily rodent I’ve ever known outside to dispose of him. What would become of Rambo Mouse? Would we now execute this worthy opponent? Execute him for his past transgressions and seek the retribution our family so richly deserved? At that moment I couldn’t do it. Nor could my father. We opted to let him live. It was going to be a long cold night. The chances of him surviving outside were very slim. But he had earned that chance at survival. With a quick flick of our bucket we sent our prisoner flying through the cold afternoon air into the awaiting woods. Finally, the nightmare was over.

Will I ever see Rambo Mouse again? My hope is that some day we will cross paths again. But I’m sure we’ve seen the last of him in our house. He was humiliated and defeated in that house, he wouldn’t dare return. But if he ever does resurface I would gladly put my guns up against this foe of foes for another thrilling chase and challenge. Rambo Mouse has been defeated… for now. I await your return, if you build up the courage to come back, you know where I’ll be. I am here… and I am waiting.

-Chris.